22. Why The Frozen 2 Soundtrack Is The Best Birth Prep
I watch a lot of Frozen with my kids, and now we’ve moved on to Frozen 2. Now the last time I really “watched” (yes, the quotation marks are needed) Frozen 2 was when I had gum graft surgery (don’t look it up!) and I was on pain killers, so while I found it amusing, I don’t remember a ton of it.
Now that I’m watching it through the lens of birth doula though, I’ve realized it’s the perfect mental prep for birth!
Let’s start with Elsa’s “Into the Unknown.” No matter what your experience with birth is, whether you’ve had babies before or seen a lot of births or not, birth is always a journey into the unknown. There are so many factors that affect not only how a birth will play out but also how you will experience it and feel about it after. You can know everything there is to birth and still have your own surprise you and/or upend your expectations. And that’s exactly why I think it’s so important to prepare for the overall journey with all its potential twists and turns rather than just one specific outcome.
Next up, another Elsa song: “Show Yourself.” It starts, “Every inch of me is trembling but not from the cold,” and anyone who’s experienced birth before knows what I’m talking about! The epidural shakes! The unmedicated adrenaline shakes! Regardless of how you birth, there’s often a lot of shaking involved.
On a serious note though, the ending lyrics are beautiful:
“Show yourself
Step into your power
Grow yourself
Into something new
You are the one you've been waiting for.”
Birth (and parenting!) is a unique opportunity for transformation, to confront things that are hard and uniquely challenging for you: stepping into the unknown, coping with uncertainty, moving through discomfort, navigating fears. You can grow and change — not into a whole new person but rather a deeper version of yourself. And truly, you are the only one who can do this. You have power in your labor and birth, but you have to work to claim it. Rarely will it be given to you (in the hospital system). When I see clients step up and take charge of their birth, both beforehand in the preparation and in their actual labor, I know it’s going to be powerful.
Another song that truly captures what it’s like to navigate labor is Anna’s “The Next Right Thing:”
“Just do the next right thing
Take a step, step again
It is all that I came to do
The next right thing
… I won't look too far ahead
It's too much for me to take
But break it down to this next breath
This next step
This next choice is one that I can make
… So I'll walk through this night
Stumbling blindly toward the light
And do the next right thing
And with the dawn, what comes then
When it's clear that everything will never be the same again?
Then I'll make the choice
To hear that voice
And do the next right thing.”
I love these lyrics because they’re the quintessential dance of labor: making one tiny decision and then another and then another. When you’re in labor, it’s easy to get lost in the enormity of the experience. What if this goes on forever? How will I make it through? What if I can’t keep doing this? Mentally, it’s a game changer to have the skill of staying right where you are, taking everything as it comes. Making it through one breath and then the next. One contraction. One decision. You don’t need to see the whole big picture. Sometimes it’s better if you don’t. You just need to put one foot in front of the other, and eventually, you will reach your baby.
And here’s a bonus quote for you. At one point, Olaf is playing with some kids (they’re sticking crystals in his face), and he says, “We’re calling this, ‘controlling what you can when things feel out of control.’” I see this on multiple levels in birth, for better or worse. It’s the client who has a ritual she does through every contraction to help her cope. It’s the partner who’s making sure the birther has everything they need right beside them: water, chapstick, pillows, combs to squeeze. It’s the provider who, unfortunately, might insist on something that’s not medically-indicated because they feel out of control, and having you on your back in bed helps them feel better prepared. Birth at its heart is out of our control, and there are pieces of our experience that can feel good to control, and places where we can cause damage if we exert too much unnecessary control.
Really, could Disney have made a better movie for birth prep?